So Brad and I went to the Cancer Center a few weekends
ago to get one of my numerous shots.

We show up and find a rather large cooler outside of the door.

Big deal, you say. It's a cooler. Probably belongs to someone.

Actually, no.

This styrofoam containment device has a "FREE COOLER" sign on it.

See! I told you so.

This is where it gets weird. I could understand seeing something like this outside of,
say, a cannery or a fresh food market, but the Santa Barbara Cancer Center?

So of course we had to take a closer look. The labels on the cooler provided more, uh,
information.

These labels provided a one-two-three punch of curiousity.
We now had a bevy questions (yes, a bevy!)

1. Why did it need to be opened immediately? And why was
   it refered to as a "kit." Were there moveable, working parts?
   Was some form of assembly required? Were batteries included?
   
   
2. This was delivered with next day air. Why the rush? Did they use
   the Saturday delivery option? Was a signature required? Who had
   to sign for this? Could they just leave it if nobody was around? Then
   who would do the assembly, if some assembly was required? Who!?
   
   
3. This cooler required "PROMPT REFRIGERATED STORAGE."
   And you couldn't just freeze it. It wasn't exactly a Christmas ham, now was it?.
   Exactly what was this cooler cooling?
   
   
4. Who was the intended target of the person (or persons -- we can neither
   confirm nor deny that this was owned by a single individual or group
   of cooler users) who put this "cooler" (I'm no longer comfortable using the
   the term "cooler" without quotes) outside "for the taking?" Doctors? Nurses?
   Guys on their way to a tailgate party?
   
   
5. Did someone hear a story like: "So yeah, Darrel, listen to this. Leroy and I were
   just happenin' by the Cancer Center and we found this awesome 'cooler!' It holds
   like 157 beers! And two sides of beef! And napkins!"
   And then Darrel says, "No way! Where's that Cancer Center? I'm going there next
   week. Maybe they'll have an old grill they don't need anymore."
   Did this conversation happen somewhere on game day in the tri-county area?

Needless to say, I didn't sleep that night.

Anyway, if anyone wants me to keep my eye out for free stuff outside the Cancer Center,
let me know. I'm there several times a week.

Sweet dreams.

m