The tingles in my fingers makes me want to write jingles...

Ok, so that doesn't exactly rhyme. But I only rhyme some of
the time.

I'll use this time to talk about some of the changes that have
occurred since I began treatment. When all of this began in
November, I didn't know if I'd have horrible reactions to the chemo,
if the effects would be cumulative, or if I'd even have a good day.
Fortunately, my reactions have been relatively mild, the effects
haven't been cumulative, and I've had many, many good days.

But some things have changed.

For example, during the first few weeks of treatment, I reacted
fairly strongly to the chemo injections. I had fevers, I felt
nauseous, and there were times when I didn't want to move.
But as the weeks went on (say, by week 7), I was blowing
through the treatments, having maybe a few hours of
queasiness in the evening after the chemo injection.
And now I'm not expecting any down time after treatment.
I'll take each day as it comes, of course -- no need to get cocky,
but I'm glad that my energy is such that I'm able to handle the
chemo pretty well.

Another thing that's popped up during the past few weeks is that
the tips of my fingers are numb and tingly. Every finger. Just at the
very tips. This is, according to my doctor, a side effect of the drugs
being pushed through me. It should go away a while after I stop
having chemo treatments. It hasn't debilitated me in any way, but
it is certainly a strange feeling.

One of the most obvious changes that has occurred over this
period of treatments is my world renouned puffiness. This, as
I've mentioned before, is caused by Prednisone, a steroid I've
been on since day one. I'm now getting weaned off the drug, so
I'm very excited about slimming down a bit.

Another change. Hair loss. It happened, but not as I had expected.
My hair is falling out, but not in large quantities, not in patches, and
not in places where I would have expected. For example, the hair
on my head is thinning, but is hasn't disappeared. And the hairs on
my arms are simply not growing. I know this because there is a
bald spot on my left forearm where some tape was ripped off while
I was in the hospital. Ten weeks later, the hair hasn't grown back
in any way. And then there is the hair on my face. I still have to shave,
but the growth is incredibly slow and the whiskers seem thinner
than before. It's all incredibly strange.

Ch-ch-ch-changes...

Chemo was on Tuesday this week. I had the usual run and it went
well. I don't miss Nitrogen Mustard at all. I did have a bit more
nausea than I had expected this week, but nothing that required
medication and nothing that really slowed me down.

On Thursday evening I went to a cancer support group for the first
time. I was late, but I got a lot out of it anyway. I'll tell more about the
group in a few weeks, as I didn't have a chance to really get to know
anyone this time. I will say that meeting some of the other people
going through cancer was very inspiring. This group is dealing with
a wide variety of cancers and not all of them are treatable. Some
people were dealing with heavy nausea and vomiting. Others were
having to start treatment again after a remission. Yet all were smiling
and laughing (I cried more than anyone) because they seem to
understand that life is so incredibly precious that having any moments
at all is worth celebrating. I took their spirit with me that evening, as I
went home to spend the evening with my groovy buddy, Zoë - Miss
Smarty Pants - Brock.

We had a slumber party -- which is to say that I wore pajamas and
a night cap. We had some yummy lasagna prepared by her mom, Molly,
and then we watched part of Shrek. After brushing our teeth (see the
scrapbook section of this web site), we read about the Little Mermaid
and Thumbelina from a big book of fairy tales. Zoë then fell fast asleep
while I read some magazines. It was a lot of fun and I can't wait to do
it again.

After yoga on Friday, I took drove north to San Francisco to visit my
brother Brad. We spent the weekend hanging out with my college
roommate Olivier and our good friend Margaret. It was great to
see them.

I'm pretty excited about getting through chemo. Two more treatments
to go. Once chemo is done, I'll get a CT scan to check my progress.
This scan will be the basis for my radiation treatments, which will
start in early February. Radiation is every day, Monday through Friday,
for just a few minutes each time. I'll probably get 4-6 weeks' worth. Yuck.
The side effects shouldn't be as harsh as chemo, so I'll just have to
hang in there.

I'd like to thank everyone for the wonderful cards and emails that keep
coming in. I haven't been able to respond to everyone yet, but I do
appreciate the kind thoughts.

Remember -- My strength comes from you.

m