No pain, no gain.

This journal entry is not for the feint of heart. But it could have been more gnarly. You've been warned. Now read on!

Last Thursday, I had my Groshong catheter removed from my chest. It took longer than I had expected and it hurt more than I had planned. I don't think my experience was a typical one for a variety of reasons, but in the end it all went well.

I couldn't use the doctor who was supposed to remove the catheter (he was on vacation), so I used another one.

Initially, it looked like I wouldn't get the catheter out that day. But I really wanted it out, so I begged and pleaded. After waiting for a long while (the doctor had to find the correct scissors), we were able to get started.

I had planned on filming the procedure, but that wasn't allowed, so I had to go with a few before and after pictures.

The first step was to numb the area surrounding the catheter. This part hurt a lot because it wasn't a simple shot in my chest. Rather, it was about 7 shots that were jammed into what we'll call "the hole" so that the correct areas were numbed. The advantage of taking the pain at this point is that it didn't hurt when he had to make an incision later on.

Once the area was numb, it was time to detach the inner "cuff" from my inner "guts." The cuff is built such that my guts grow into it, allowing a hermetic seal. Ideally, the cuff could be detached and the catheter be yanked from my skin without too much trouble. After several good (and painful) attempts, the doctor decided that an incision had to be made (the cuff was up a bit too far in my chest).

After a few snips (or slices -- I couldn't tell) and a few more tugs, I was told to take a deep breath. By the time I had inhaled, the doctor was holding the catheter in his hand. I didn't feel it come out at all. I had expected it to feel like a big noodle was been slurped out of my chest, but that didn't happen (a boy can dream, can't he?).

After a few stitches were thown on to close the wound, we were done.

As you can see above, the catheter went pretty far into my chest and vein. I had the option of keeping the catheter, but I decided that, other than making a great cat toy, I had no real use for it.

I was bandaged up and sent home. Only a little blood leaked.

Below is what the wound looked like without the grotesque dressing.

Now, now, there's no need to be jealous. We can all pretend to have catheter wounds next Halloween.

I'll have the stitches removed on Thursday -- and I hope to be in the hot tub by the weekend.

Sweet dreams.

m